Aging.

What aging is and how I view it has changed quite a bit over the past few years for me. To start, it goes well beyond the appearance of the body and women and their faces. Awww, the forever chase to find *youth in a bottle*. What I now know about aging, is that while I am off living what I think is my best life, my body is also breaking down. Cause it's supposed to. But what I continue to ask is, "Why did no one tell me about all the weird sh*t that can and will happen to me with time and age?" Is it really that taboo to speak about greying hair and I'm not just talking about it on your head? Who knew? And that the body will always be in a state of constant change and not just when you hit puberty or for women, menopause. 

My first memory of truly being terrified about getting old was when I saw the movie "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead". The mother of the fantastically cool seventeen-year-old, Swell Crandell, played by the even cooler, Christina Applegate, looked horribly old. The age of the mom in that movie was thirty-seven. Thirty-seven! And she looked old, exhausted, and haggard. I imagine if I too were a single mother of five children whose ages ranged between eight and seventeen, I would also look and feel old, exhausted, and haggard. And let me be clear, I am in no way attacking the physical appearance of the actress who played the mom. I imagine that due to her circumstances, the character needed to be aged to fit the level of exhaustion and stress. I mean... in the movie her five, insane kids put her through the wringer and it showed. But because of this visual, the ripe age of "37" became my *scary age* and left a strong impression on me. That is until I myself turned thirty-seven and of course I do not find myself old at all.  

I realize now that I had a very skewed view on the whole aging thing simply because while growing up, the generations of women before me were obsessed with anything and everything "anti-aging." Like they thought that their wrinkle cream would act as a time capsule and the whole aging bit would come to a complete halt. Or they would jump on the next trend diet that would magically have them stop peeing themselves whenever they sneezed. Or they would do a specific shampoo ritual that would make their head of hair grow back thicker and more voluminous.

Being a young female growing up, I was often blindsided on numerous accounts regarding the constant changes of my body. Sometimes I would have a quick chat with either my mom or one of my grandmothers about some hormonal puberty stuff. But more often than not, I just had to carry on with business as usual. No further conversations would ever follow. No one would tell me that your body will never stop changing and things will happen sooner than you might have imagined. I can't help be a little peeved with why no one told me that some really crazy and even a little messed up crap will happen to your body and be constant.

In the era that birthed the social media influencer whose life we follow and they say "they're an open book" and their appearance always appears perfect and wrinkle-free (literally their clothes, bedsheets, and skin are all free of wrinkles) - I want to know why no one is talking about all the weird sh*t that happens to our bodies with age?!?! And it's supposed to happen! That's the thing that just kills me. Our culture is so open and documented with lifestyle bloggers, the "goopers," the parenting hack people, the beauty vloggers, video gamers, and weird kids watching other kids open up toy packages. But, I haven't really seen, watched, or read anything about aging stuff. And I mean more than preventing some wrinkles or menopause. I'm talking about the stuff that starts to take off in your mid to late twenties even. 

This brings me to the title of the blog post - "Sh*t about aging that my mama never told me". All the changes that will happen to my body throughout my entire life. Changes that occur beyond puberty, but before and after menopause. Oh! And this goes for men too! Because unlike how society deems men as more handsome with age, their bladders can fall and pelvic floors weaken as well. I know I'm getting older, but for me... I just want to look good and feel good while I'm doing it. I also want to teach my kids now while they're young to know and understand that what they do to their body now, could impact them long-term, but maybe not show up till later in life. So take care of yourself now and don't wait for your body to break down in order to give yourself the utmost care, love, and support. Also, I don't want my kids to be shocked like myself. A lot of the changes that happen with aging are just completely of out one's control and instead of being freaked out or disappointed when something goes south, they simply change their mindset. The mental perception of aging is huge!

I'm going to share some things not that might have personally happened to me, or maybe someone else had the guts to share their own experience, or I was educated and trained about it while either working within the cosmetic industry or while going through my Pilates training. None of these were things that my mom or family members told me. Love you, mean it grandmothers, but this would have been some good info to know. I know many others feel the same way and ask, "Why in god's name did someone not tell me this could or would happen?!"

Things that happen with age and you don't have to be super old for these changes to happen...

• hair grows in very odd places
• hair will grow out of your nostrils. A dumb moment for me, but I honestly thought that happened to men only until I had to ask my husband for help with trimming my nose hair
• you will get grey hair in places other than your head. (sweet Jesus!)
• your bladder can become weak and you may require surgery to have it put into a "bladder mesh" or sling
• your innards can literally fall out of your body. Yes! Either a prolapsed uterus or your intestines and no you do not have to have had children for this to happen
• hello adult acne
• stretch marks
• alcohol can become your enemy
• hormones can rage more than during your years of puberty
• joint pain
• food allergies
• eyesight goes real quick
• hearing loss
• less tolerance for noise
• hair loss for woman
• pee your pants every time you sneeze or laugh
• receding gum lines
• your teeth can become thin and crack (I blame this on all the celebrities with their veneers and I took the Crest White Strip whitening challenge a little too far.)
• your hand skin will age and look like the crypt keeper
• your body odor will change
• sweating, the night sweats get weird. 
• your face and neck are not the only parts of your body that will sag and droop
• body recovery after a trendy new workout takes so much longer

Now look, there's quite a bit here that is just out of anyone's control. We are born to live and then we die. The body and mind will break down. Some quicker than others. But, how you live and what you know can be a huge game-changer for the quality of life. And there's no reason why we should wait for something to happen before we treat our body and mind with respect and give it support. That is what is needed in order to promote longevity and to get the most out of your body for the long term.

Becoming a Pilates instructor some years ago is what truly changed my mindset on the whole aging process. I no longer want to engross in everything "anti-aging". It's not really possible to not age. What I do want, is to age well and have a great quality of life while I am doing. To look good & feel good while we get older. 

Here are a few final thoughts on how to age well, and look and feel good while you do...

Moving the body every day is crucial. It provides stimulation for both the mind and body and also relieves stress. Stress will age you in a snap! So find an outlet for you to release it. Stretch and do it often. Wear sunscreen all day. Every day. Come rain or shine - and put it on your hands. All those years of driving at 10 and 2 will show up on the back of your hands (hello crypt keeper). Practice and exercise the pelvic floor and I'm talking more than some kegel squeezes. Peeing yourself is not okay. That should be a concern and not just something that you have to learn to live with. Weak pelvic floors and abdominals affect women who have not had children and men too. You need to get right on that ASAP! Work with a registered nutritionist or dietician in order to get your body's needs met. What eating habits once suited in your twenties will most likely not work for your thirties. And don't rely on the next fad diet released by a celebrity or IG influencer to know what your body needs to consume. Sleep. Get such good quality sleep. Double cleanse your skin at night, meaning... remove your makeup and SPF before cleansing your facial skin. Or else, you're just moving crap around. Find what brings your life joy and do it often. Drink plenty of water throughout the day. And last, know that what works for you now, most likely will need to change as time goes by. Be adaptable and know that change is a must in order to age well for yourself. 

The body does weird crap as it bumps along in life. Through all the weird and funny stuff that can and will most likely happen as I get older, I am grateful that I'm no longer worried about the number I hit and how it could define my life. Because age is but a number, nothing more. So, here's to being more in the *know* and to embrace all that the body will do and all the changes that will happen. I just want to be happy and confident while I become old and grey.