How do I do this? How can I do this? How can I hang on? How can I survive and make it out? So many questions filled my head on the daily, and questions that made me feel like my brain was bleeding causing my heart to nearly explode. It's been a roller coaster of emotions as I was trying to figure what's next?  Like a ride that was going so fast and jerky, and made me feel like I was in a pinball machine, slung around, and feeling like my safety harness was unlatched. I would even get tripped up over what pen to use to write the words of my feelings, and would have a near panic attack over which journal notebook to use - for the fear that choosing the wrong one would disrupt my creative process and my future. I got to that dark place where nothing made sense. How do I not let them down... the people who have supported me? The ones who celebrated and sent me flowers congratulating me on opening my own business. The people who put down floors on their hands and knees, and stood on ladders to nail boards to the walls. The people who financially supported my efforts, and the ones who've had money drafted from their bank accounts every month. Daunting. I went dark. 

For me, I felt that it was inexcusable to have a pandemic get the best of me and my business. There should have been a better plan that I had ready to implement, but I didn't and it haunted me 24/7. Then the voice of reason came back. My husband, family, dear friends, and clients woke me up. They were all still here. So as I've done many times throughout my life, I stopped crying, stopped bitching, and changed my view on it all. Once I let go of what once was, the future was wide, bright, and open for the taking.  

My three dearest friends who unknowingly intimidate the shit out of me with their sheer brilliance, beautiful souls, and boss girl jobs, all lifted me up and in their own individual way said, "Ash this isn't over, we would tell you if it were." And they would, but that's not what they were saying. No one did. I was shocked! Then I snapped and said, "Let's go to work then..." and I did. 

The WellHouse Fit is forever changed and it's for the better. With the help of my core studio community, husband, and new and fabulous college intern, we are re-branding. New look. New direction. New focus. New offers. I am a salt of the earth kind of person who lives life through my passion. And what remains the same is the initial reason why I wanted to start my own business and create my own brand - and that is the passion I have to help people move their bodies in order to feel better. My brand vision is still the same, it is sticking to the simple philosophy created by Joseph Pilates and that's that "movement heals." It brings energy to the body and calm to the mind. To share that movement is ageless, raceless, and genderless. We as human beings all deserve the opportunity to live our best life. To connect with my community and provide a safe, judgement free space for people to work on themselves to be their best. 

So it's all new, but the same. The Pilates studio now operates out of my home, and it's been kinda amazing. The digital studio that is going to be a VOD platform with a monthly subscription of Bounce Fit, Pilates Sculpt and other good bits are being filmed as professionally as possible out of my in-home studio. And let me tell you... getting up enough guts and to actually believe I'm good enough to do that and not be intimidated by the known big names in this industry has been a mind boggling, gut wrenching, experience! I'm no longer just trying to make it in a small Southern town with a no name small fit studio, I'm now trying to compete for a tiny sliver of market share with the people who follow Goop, Tracy Anderson, and every other more established YouTuber and social media influencer out in the digital universe. I'm fine. No nerves in the least bit (ha). Dreams are worth fighting for, right? 

So as I begin this journey and open the blinds for you to peek in and follow, I ask you this...give me a chance. Could you? From one female boss babe to another, I hope to make you feel good, be proud, and become better.